a "sampler" came into the store today. you know the type. the kind of person who pilfers edible goods in minute quantities and tries to pass it off as "sampling." at best, its semi-tolerable behavior---everyone knows youre not supposed to eat what you havent paid for, but only a jerk would complain about a customer pocketing, say, a peanut. or two. now, i try not to be a jerk...but damn if i wasnt pissed this morning when a guy walked in the door, headed straight for the produce aisle, and proceeded to eat my fucking grapes. and im not talking about one or two, this guy was practically having a meal.
me: "buddy, buddy, what are you doing?"
guy: "these dont taste so good."
me: "yeah, well, you do know you'll have to pay for that bag, dont you?" *points to quarter empty, open bag of grapes*
guy: "but i only took a couple."
me: *counts empty stems on grape bundle* "you ate at least 20."
guy: "it was already like that."
me: "we just opened. i supposed some other person came in,while we were closed, and ate them?"
guy: "um, well..."
me: "you need to go."
guy: "i think im gonna go."
me: "yeah."
god, where the hell do these people come from...and how do they always manage to find me?